The itch

A bit of a pointless post but I thought I might put something up to touch base with any readers.

When I went to bed last night I resigned myself to hours of staring at the ceiling interspersed with staring at the wall or having my eyes closed. I could feel that straining feeling in my shin bones that accompanies the frustrated feeling of time going by unutilised. The lack of independence coupled with a severe shortage of funds results in a 'rat in a cage' castrated feeling. It has been an incredibly restful and enjoyable period over the past few weeks, but now the mind is starting to work overtime again with all sorts of crazy ideas. I'm as well rested as I've ever been and am chomping the bit for some physical and mental challenges. My adrenal gland is also starting to twitch and as I relive some of the adventures while lying in my bed. I always thought the 'travel bug' was a bit of cliche - but it really does physically attack you.

I don't see travel as the immediate solution to problem - partly because of the lack of cash - but getting into the faster paced life in London and filling my time with activities other than diary writing (a large contributor to my nightly schedule) will be a good distraction while I replenish the coffers.

The last couple of weeks have involved regular jaunts down to London for some socialising and and an interview with a recruitment company - apparently they specialise in charity organisations as well as Civil Service recruitment - which is an area I would love to get into. It almost seems like a 'no brainer' (is that an Americanism?) - if you have the choice between working for Macquarie Bank or Amnesty International - in a Finance/Economics related role - which do you choose? I hope you all say AI. I had a job as a vacation clerk for PricewaterhouseCoopers several years ago and even though it was only for three weeks it really gave me an uneasy feeling that I couldn't put my finger on, what was I doing? I may as well have been moving bricks from one pile to another - while taking a brick for myself each time I did it. It took me a while to realise that was the problem and that I would be desperately unhappy in that line of work for a living, and I've never understood how people can do it.

Hmmm, went off on a tangent there. Apart from London visits I've been knocking myself around on the trampoline, learning to play rounders through the stinging nettles and spending quite alot of time at this Suffolk County Library. Lucas came to visit the other day which was fun, and we've started to discuss some possibilities of travel to Holland and maybe France while his mum visits, that would be pre-job for me - therefore going into debt again I imagine.

Anyhoo - I hope Canberra is warming up (still August - don't kid yourself Georgia it's still freezing!!) and the farm is still green and Rupert is still alive. For those of you that know Rupert he is now the toughest looking dog in Queensland, with scars all over him from barb wire fences and getting boxed by big red roos.

E-People

The plans for the future keep changing by the day, first it was quiet little job in the English countryside, then it was an early return to South America, then back to the countryside plan, but am now leaning right in favour of my worst nightmare - a full-time office job in the big city. A couple of factors influencing this decision - better money and better experience (which equals longer and sooner travels), sharing a flat with Lucas and tackling Europe as a team instead of leaving him to slave away in solitude while I sleep in, play on the trampoline and go on glowing summer sunset bike rides with my cousins. So I have temporarily shelved my plans to be the worlds best postman, and have brought my suit down to London (shudders down the spine when I saw my shirts and ties again, urrrgghhh) for an interview with a public sector recruitment agency.

I'm thinking it would be prudent of me to NOT let them read these posts, as they might get the idea that I despise the very thing I'm asking them for....

But in the meantime I think I'll try and get some work at the Newmarket horse stables and have some adventures down to Cornwall, and possible purchase an automobile of equal quality and character as the mighty vehicle that I entrusted to my brother in my absence (which I hear will be given some racing stripes shortly).

Sadly though I have had no brain exploding experiences of late, but I've got my eyes open and am in a state of cat-like readiness for any chances for adventure that come along.....

Why did call this post e-people? That's right, just had been thinking about the divergence of (or creation of, or difference between) people's personalities and their e-personalities. An interesting topic I think.

Hmmmmm....

After a gruelling post-taco pedal around the countryside this afternoon (with cousin and deflated bike clinging on the back) I found myself sitting in front of a documentary by a man who decided that he no longer wanted to be homosexual and had signed up for a special ex-gay support group in Memphis designed to show gay people the error of their ways.

The crux of the Ex-Gay Group's line of reasoning is that nobody is born gay - events in a person's life somehow trigger this unnatural instinct in them and they need to identify where, in a timeline of their life, this was triggered and deal with that trauma.

In these support groups were a broad range of people who believed that homosexuality was unnatural and was not 'who they were' but an affliction or addiction like alcoholism. These were people who were not happy with an element of themselves that (I believe, generally) is a part of who they are and not a personality trait or characteristic that can be eliminated. This concept suddenly shone a light onto a thought that had seeded in my mind somewhere in Peru but had never grown into idea.

To digress for a second.
Several people have asked me (and something Lucas and I have discussed on occasion) what I have learnt from this trip* so far. The idea of people heading to foreign lands or going to retreats to 'find themselves' is not a rare thing. And I admit that this cliched reason for disappearing for a while has occurred to me on occasion. However, while watching the documentary this evening, the idea dawned on me that there is no 'finding yourself' or any other such path of self discovery. I know who I am and you know who you are. The matter gets confused when we are not happy with who we are (or think others wouldn't be happy with who we are) and need to pursue avenues of self-improvement or try to mold ourselves into the people we think we ought to be. I think the real task is to be honest withourselves about our failings and embrace them. In my mind, self-acceptance is an important branch on our tree that we need to develop before we can say we are happy balanced people.

Apologies to anyone who thinks that was a fairly obvious conclusion. But it just occurred to me and puts some feelings from South America into perspective.

*I still refer to this as a 'trip', but in reality it is a trip just as much as Canberra was a trip. This is not a holiday from my life, but rather is now my life.

Options, Opportunities and Ozzies

A couple of pics from the first couple of days in London have been uploaded - nothing outrageous at this stage but we're working on it!

Well we've been here for just over a week now and I've already had my first return trip to London - and I've got to say I'm torn between my options at the moment. I had been envisaging a polluted, expensive, difficult, somewhat overwhelming experience in London that I could avoid by staying and working in the country with the odd visit into the big smoke. But after seeing some REALLY polluted and disorganised cities, London is a like going for a stroll down some quiet lanes. Security is supposed to be high - but unless they decide to frisk us with sub-machine guns in our backs a la Bogota, it really seems just adds a little fluro yellow to the backdrop of tube stops, red buses and the most diverse array of human beings I have ever seen. Every day that I spend in London I see something different and interesting, I've been here before, but perhaps it is with different eyes that I look at the melting pot of cultures that live together. I can walk through Selfridges (swanky department store) beside women wearing berkas (spelling?) who are buying expensive handbags and then step onto the street and hear several different languages spoken by groups of people bustling past. The enormity of London is also exciting - as Lucas mentioned, it is a 'world' city - every tube or bus stop has something different to offer from it's surroundings and a day trip to a previously unvisited suburb is like a day trip to a different country - not to mention the ease with which day trips to other countries actually is.

I still miss South America and I'm always on the look out for Spanish speakers or a latino quarter in London, but my mind is racing assessing all the options I have for work here and the opportunities and experiences that each one can open up. At the moment my three main choices are - Government work (any area), assistant chef in Lucas's pub, and the manager training course for B&Q (cross between Bunnings and Freedom). The B&Q option aroused my interested when after I had applied for some floor work they rang and informed me I would be bored with admin work and maybe I would like to go through their manager training programme (-mme - good old DOFA spelling still), B&Q have offices all over Europe and...CHINA, so maybe my evil plan may yet come to fruition.

No hurry though - Feeling relaxed and unhurried, I have a very healthy tax return in the works and am starting to get that burning desire to haul the metal around again - my goodness I will be weak - but still will be fun to put myself through the gruelling diet and exercise plans that I love to give other people - we'll see how I cope....

To anyone who still reads this post - thanks for making the effort to follow my adventures - other peoples travels are always much less exciting than your own and it can be a bore to hear them go on about what an amazing time they are having blah blah blah. I hope it has got the travel juices flowing in some people so that I can see some of you in the UK or possibly other parts of the world should fate deem it so.

I'll see if I can't get on the news or get arrested doing something exciting. Any ideas??

Newsflash....

The bowels are 100% operational again, good on ya England.

Lucas is working hard in London with prospects of bringing down the western financial system from the inside and I'm off to the country for some fresh air....

Feeling good.