Q: Do you ever use recreational drugs?

A: No, but I get a natural high when my children's daily needs are met.

This was a conversation that Heather had while doing the health history of one of the soon-to-be Kesho House Mamas.

Everyone here has moments where a certain stimulus suddenly brings home the reality of life here in all it's desperate struggle climb out of the pit of poverty and hopelessness. This was one of those moments for me.

I also happen to be reading a book about Che Guevara's life post-Cuban revolution until his death in Bolivia. The first part of the book is the factual account of his movements and actions during that time. The rest of the book is extracted from his diary and the report that he wrote (in entertaining style) for Fidel Castro regarding the failure of the Congolese revolution intervention. The experience of Guevara in Africa, in particular dealing with politicians and men reflects the all too common problems that we see here. The culture of men needing to appear manly, the wealthy (or often not) needing to appear wealthy, the powerful needing to demonstrate their power - is not something unique to Africa, the problem dominates the globe. But how men, the wealthy and the powerful are defined and the manner in which these traits need to be expressed in the African context often has devastating effects on any endeavour. We have already witnessed the trait of short sightedness alone ruining the lives of many we've come into contact with. The quick bonus through theft, or the weekly pay blown in a night at the pub see men losing jobs, time at work or opportunities for education and ultimately more money.

But this was not at the forefront of my mind as the never ending savanah sunset lit up the long lion-coloured grass, umbrella like acacia trees and my minivan to Nairobi as it tore along corrugated dirt roads. I felt numerous emotions, frustration, sadness, affection, awe and emotions I'm not articulate enough to name or don't even have a name - maybe 'leaving Africa' should be introduced as a word describing an emotion. But this still wasn't what dominated my conscious thought. Rather my mind turned back to Cuba. I thought of the food and housing that every Cuban is entitled too. The education and health care that every Cuban gets as a right. Then I think of this House Mama, and I imagine asking her "Mama, I can offer you and all the mamas in Tanzania food, shelter, education and health care - all that you will sacrifice is your right to protest against your government and chance to leave Tanzania". What would she say?

"Never in my life will I be able to afford leaving Arusha, let alone Tanzania. My voice is not heard anyway as I am black, I am a woman, and I have no money - for god's sake please give me these things you are offering".

Wealthy, comfortable Australians and Americans need their ego to be listened to and validated, they want to feel 'free' to catch a plan to another country to take photos of other people's desperate grind for existence - to feel their pain so that they can feel something in their life other than the call of the self-satisfying ego.

The fear ridden anti-socialist doctrine of the US during the Cold War and the subsequent intervention in countries striving for an egalitarian ideal has merely added to the death count of innocent women and children through poverty related diseases. Now what is left is the creation of the western ideal, the capitalist ideal - hard work in the pursuit of money and material possessions driving the economy. The lucky ones work less and buy more and become more western every day, they still listen to Bob Marley like everyone else, but also watch him on the plasma screen TV while drinking a Heineken. The unlucky ones work harder and get less. And they still listen to Bob Marley, 15 men standing on a dirt road around an ancient crackling radio with a banana beer that is poisoning them.

Why do I bother to write this? Did I change your mind? Does your mind need changing? I don't even know who you are.