What has changed

Yes, two posts in quick succession. What else am I to do when stuck at a computer and bored with work? Going to get introspective, so press your reset button now, quick!

One of the main reasons I keep this blog going is because I like to read back to old posts. Like a diary that I don't have to lug around with me everywhere. It doesn't offer too much about the real monsters lurking in my mind, but you can see a tail poking out from beneath the curtains sometimes.

So, I was reading some old posts just before - mine and Lucas' from the last couple of months in London - March-July 2006, almost 18 months ago. I was suddenly struck with nostalgia. Not necessarily for London, but the freedom and breadth of thought that we shared in those days. That's not to say we were philosophers with unprecedented insight, but in comparison to the humdrum methodicism of my thoughts these days....there is a big gap.

One of the main reasons for this is that I am becoming more of a realist. Something that we are supposed to do as grown ups, be balanced, considered, informed. But really, becoming a realist has meant losing the fire of inspiration that I gained during that 17 months of discussion, debate, discovery and inquiry with Lucas. Nothing turns you into a realist more than academia. No comment can pass without a reference, no opinion without evidence from studies. Sure, it is 'right'. But it feels like a big pile of Lego that people are building ideas out of - rather than an adventure. And what's the point in doing anything if it isn't going to be an adventure?

I want to have a dream that I can mould into a vision, rather than an acceptance of what is possible and to work around that. Perhaps that's the crux of what I'm thinking. Or maybe I'm just sick of writing essays for lecturers to mark.

I've lost my train of thought now. To much reading about the history of solariums. We can thank Coco Chanel for popularising the suntan and causing generations of sunburn, skin cancer and premature ageing. Another achievement for the fashion industry.

The End is Nigh!!

Very nigh. The end of the semester that is. Only a week and a half until the final exam, followed by another couple of weeks until my contract finishes as work, and then I'm partially free. Still an eight day intensive Burden of Disease* summer semester, a volley of 'to do's before we depart for Tanzania.




It has been a tiring semester, I know I'm struggling when I resort to drinking coffee as a life sustaining tool during the early afternoons. During the slog I've come across some interesting comments/stuff that tickled me.


1. According to a 'Hillsong' (a subsidiary company of Religion Inc.) representative on one of those 'morning news and other assorted crap' shows - the christian bible (dictated chiefly by god I presume - indirectly or otherwise), states that you 'should give 10% of your income to the church' - which is why they all do it in the Hillsong suburb of Sydney.


Hmmm, I can just see it now.....'and the lord said, ye shall commit to a direct debit plan whereby ten of every hundred units of thy pre-tax income net of deductibles and excluding foreign earnings shall be given to my most tuneful disciple and he shall spend it on grand Colosseums wherefore I may be entertained with thine singalongs with hands in the air, yeah yeah'.


2. Amagi - the earliest known written word for 'Freedom' or 'Liberty', is 4300 years old, written in the Sumerian city-state of Lagash. It appears to be an arrangement of 24 golf tees. Co-incidence? I think not...

Brisbane is glowing green at the moment after several days of evening downpours and thunderous lightning storms. It is cooler today - signalling a dryer period ahead. I have a group meeting shortly with my international student comrades to discuss our assignment due this Friday. International students are very shy - which can come across as aloof and anti-social. But when they realise you are interested in their country and you aren't going to get frustrated with their sometimes difficult to understand English they are friendlier and more helpful than domestic students. The more international students we have, the better, I say.

*Burden of Disease: Is a study of the total burden of mortality (deaths) and morbidity (illness) on a society from various afflictions. For example, combining mortality and morbidity puts cancer as the biggest detriment to Australia's health, closely followed by cardiovascular disease and then....mental health disorders. While mental health disorders have a low mortality rate, the level of morbidity associated with poor mental health and its prevalence makes it such a huge problem in our society - and across the world - even in developing countries. The 'weight' given to morbidity from specific illnesses is calculated using various survey techniques. The output is a Disability Adjusted Life Year (DALY), which forms the basis for evidence based healthcare and economic evaluation of health programs.

Returning, staying and leaving

The tunnel that encloses us is such a comfort. We can see a little to the left, a little to the right, some milestones up ahead and know, with some certainty, where the tunnel will lead. And we are happy with that. Our successes and failures only exist in comparison to the achievements of others, so our tunnels all run in the same general direction with the same milestones and the same final outcome.

I don't suppose anyone has followed the journey of the man who was walking from the bottom of South America to Alaska? He had to postpone his journey as he entered Colombia due to a lack of funds. He has now returned to the 'normal' life with 'normal' people and is quietly going insane. The futility of the daily motions, the fretting over luxuries, the 'sameness' of everyday and everyone. A society of narcissists who ultimately loath themselves. I can hear the optimists' rebuttal - there is uniqueness in every day and everyone, it is the responsibility of the observer to find it. Perhaps it is the repression and avoidance of uniqueness that is drilling into his head, the way more people try to fit into the mould and show surprise, shock and suspicion at those who don't.

To wake up each day with a blank canvas, but with purpose and vigour is perhaps the luxury beyond all other luxuries. A poor man on the slopes of the Andes may enjoy wonderful views, and the satisfaction of a well worked field and food in his belly, but in the end, the views become the same, the people become the same. But his work and the opportunities available to him means he won't suffer from the problem of leisure, and contemplations of success, failure and achievement (in the sense that we do in our society). He suffers from many other plights, better and worse, it depends.

So what does this man do (the traveller that is)? Keep walking, keep travelling. What does he gain? What does he lose? In a cost-benefit analysis you would assign values/weights to the implications of each decision. Not really possible when you don't know the happiness or opportunities that you might miss out on from each choice. Maybe it is his own narcissism that drives the desire to be different, and his fury at the ignorance of others to his greatness in being different. Perhaps it is his ego rather than his 'spirit' that desires 'freedom' and beauty and reality. Why else keep a blog....