Staring at a frozen pig farm dreaming of the gold coast

For any readers of Lucas's blog you'll probably be getting a fair idea of the philosphising we are doing in order to stay sane and keep pushing ourselves to stick it out in London. We even looked at each other on the tube this morning with a twinkle of 'lets get the hell out of here', which quickly vanished as we were shoved further into the carriage so more people could squeeze in before the doors closed - beep beep beep beep, quick!

Ahh the difference between 8:06 and the 8:12.....

But despite our attempts to be positive about it all, sometimes I think you just need a really good moan to get it out and know that we're all in it together, then we can go about thinking of coping strategies. So tune out now if you're not interested in my moaning.....

I have got to say, working in Canberra was a dream compared to London. The sport, the fresh air - I have never felt more like a caged rat on speed (as opposed to the castrated rat from a few months ago - I have various rat-like demeanours) than I am at the moment. It's the combination of full-time work in an office with not a balde of grass in a mile. If I could get out at lunch time in the sun (possible even in the depths of Canberra winter) and chase a ball around like a deranged whippet - I mean Rupert - then I would be able to face the negativity towards Australians in this institution - or this country for the most part.

There has been an Ashes series which gave them an opportunity to gloat, and then recent Rugby losses - not to mention the World Cup - I almost felt sorry for the chaps here who still use the World Cup as an example of them beating Australia in something. But I would have thought that these seemingly parade-worthy victories would put an end to the jealousy and anti-aussie vibe. But it appears as though they are still exuberant when Australia lose to anyone, not just England. There is also the anti-aussie sentiment at work - various people throughout the organisation are more than willing to tell us to our faces that they don't think young Australians should be doing these jobs. The pressure which this is putting on our team is quite visible, a couple of the girls aren't able to cope and are considering resigning after recieving biting emails from older (but not more senior) staff around the country. In a twisted way it motivates me to work harder and show them that I can know everything they've learnt in 20 years over a couple of months, which shouldn't be too hard as they consider knowledge of English geography and history invaluable. Yeah great empire, 60 million people living in a shoe-box sized country - I wonder how that gene pool is going. Actually more than one person I've talked to has said 'there are so many people here who look the same'. There are certainly just a couple of physical characteristics that manifest themselves in the majority of the caucasian British.

My other recent experience of England was some travel around the North. The Northerners are supposed to be a friendly bunch, but from my experience (and some other peoples recent experiences up there) they are even worse than people in London, they will go out of their way to be rude, rather than just ignoring you like in London.

Phew, almost went off on a flying headbutt at the nearest englishman...

On the upside - we are moving to a street just of Portobello Road this weekend, joined a gym, going to start doing indoor rock climbing, maybe go back to Salsa, buy a football, play mixed netball with the girls from work, maybe find a basketball court, join an AFL team in the new year (there is one in Hammersmith!), and spend most of January in the Alps speeding down a mountain with my heart in my mouth, not to mention the 8 Christmas parties over the next two or three weeks. So all in all it isn't that bad. Just needed a good whinge - I am half English anyway....

The cold is here

During October and most of November Lucas and I have been scorning these English winters - "it's not cold - these poms are all soft whingers".

We appear to have enraged the mighty god of winter and she (being an ice queen) has come down upon us with furious anger. We are now regularly below zero in the evenings and it is forecast to snow in London on Friday. Brrrrr it's cold in here!

Recent activities include watching the Rugby at a pub here or there and a Saturday morning driving range session withe Lukas and Lucas and Amy and Cooper. And I must say that Cooper (a Norfolk x Westie terrier) is one of the cutest animals I've ever seen. Like any good puppy he believes he has the power of a tank and is equally as indestructible, and he never runs out of energy!

A couple of new photos on page three of the October-November gallery.

http://lucas.intercate.net/gallery/album06?page=3

We are moving house in a week and a half to a one bedroom apartment just off Portobello Road in the Notting Hill area, should be a fun change. Meanwhile I've resigned myself to buying a coat and will be going out at lunchtime to make the purchase - so expensive, but so necessary......I guess.

Make London Smile

During last week Lucas and I had been moaning about the tediousness of the 9-5 life. Each day seemed to be a carbon copy of the previous. We had also been discussing the glumness that meets us every day on the faces of so many Londoners. So we have decided to respond to both of these problems with a combined solution......

MAKE LONDON SMILE!

It will give us little adventures with the possibility of making more friends and maybe brighten the day for some people. The first step was taken on Saturday morning. Lucas purchased a bunch of flowers for his girlfriend and we agreed that you get a slightly different reaction from people when you are carrying a bouquet of flowers under your arm. So I purchased a bunch as well with the intention of giving them to a stranger. It took me three hours before I came across the right person. I was paying for my uber-comfortable new trackies and socks in Primark and the African lady serving me kept glancing at the flowers with a shy smile. When I offered her the flowers her face lit up with a wonderfully big smile. It would also have made me felt quite warm and fuzzy too had I not been feeling close to death after another one of 'those nights' involving the Walkabout (both the pub and the walk home).

So Lucas is next in line to do something nice for a stranger. We have already designed a little logo and will try and advertise the theme so we get as many people as possible performing random acts of kindness to each other across London. It may seem a far fetched idea, but it's worth a try and will be fun in the process.

Also a few new photos in the gallery. I think the second page was put up last night by lucas. Some pics from the gig we went to last week and other things.

Happy Birthday to my sister Gini! Turning 20 - I can't believe it, I remember when you were just a whippersnapper being collected from the adoption agency. How time flies. Unfortunately she is in mid-exam mode which dampens the celebrations. And just as well! Boys and alcohol are bad, don't go near them Gini!!!

On another note. During my most recent traipse home, I decided to lug a stack of 50 Times Magazines (note: not 'Time Magazine') with me. One of the articles in it summarised some findings from a Cosmo magazine survey. The most disturbing finding was that two thirds of females in England (or two thirds of female English Cosmo readers) would 'upgrade' their boyfriend if they lost a stone. Can you believe that? Two thirds!! I wouldn't have been suprised if there was small proportion of imbeciles who would even consider doing such a thing. I try and convince myself regularly that people really aren't that superficial, but on the face of it - in England at least - it seems they are. And I would suggest that anyone who doesn't find that statistic a sad commentary on society here may need to have a look at themselves.

Attack fire

I just discovered the coolest thing about my workplace. Should we discover that the building is ablaze, we are instructed to 'attack fire with provided equipment'.

I cannot wait until this place burns. For more than one reason.

ps. If it does burn. It wasn't me.

I notice Lucas has put some new photos on the gallery. AND the serial meanie has struck already. I don't know about anyone else but I find it quite amusing that this person (assuming it is the same person) takes the time to be so unkind with no outcome other than people having a chuckle at this person's lack of self-esteem. Will our mystery commentator reveal themselves in due course, I do hope so, and I hope it is someone controversial that we all know.

In the meantime, I'll be plugging away at my job here at Citizens Advice. I am squirming with excitement in anticipation of two week-long ski trips scheduled for January - if the meals provided come in the form of a buffet, then I think I will be in heaven. Worlds Largest Breakfast followed by a whole day of rocketing down mountains.

Did I mention Lloyds TSB suck.

Lloyds TSB are the worst bank on the planet

Not once in my life have I ever been bothered by unhelpful, incompetent, bureaucratic, inefficient companies (Telstra almost got me). But my experience with Lloyds bank is the most Monty Python-esque display of genuine disinterest in customer satisfaction that I have ever had the misfortune to tangle with.

All I want to do is transfer some money from my account to another English bank account. NOT HARD. Just like a Commonwealth Bank to ANZ transfer for example, not a large amount of money. I couldn't do it on the internet because their 'netbanking' is set up for looking at your balance and giving your account a 'nickname'. Why on earth ANYONE might want to give their BANK ACCOUNT a NICKNAME is one of the great mysteries of life that I'll never understand.

A NICKNAME???!!!!

Then I couldn't do it over the phone because the one of the four security/membership/username/password numbers that I was issued with didn't match what they had on their screen - even though they had sent me the numbers themselves.

So I went into a branch - surely at a branch you can do anything - there is a person sitting there with all powerful access to my account and can transfer money to another account.

BUT NO!!!

That would cost me £20 to get the branch to do a transfer for me, or £10 to write a bank cheque. But I don't want a bloody bank cheque, I may as well withdraw the money myself and give it to the person - but I don't even know the person it's for (friend of a friend) and they live in Manchester or something and they wanted the cash at the start of the week.

At every step of the way I was greeted with sighs, one-word answers, silence, other phone nubmers to call and people to talk to, blank stares and complete stupidity (to summarise). The final outcome was a few forms stuffed into an envelope to be sent to the Bury St Edmunds branch so they can close my account and open a new one that will have the transfer facility - but she's not sure if I'll be able to open this new account because 'sometimes they don't like to'

"SOMETIMES THEY DON'T LIKE TO"???????

What in God's name is that supposed to mean? Is there an overweight balding man sitting in a leather chair in a Lloyds office with these requests coming throught to him, to which he grants or refuses depending on whether he got a seat on the tube in the morning?? Is that what she thinks is happening?? I don't know, maybe she thinks it gets put into a bottle and thrown into the Thames and an army of Thames-Otters makes the decision. The proximity of her left eye to her right eye leads to me conclude that yes, I think she does.

If I could just describe England in a few words, they would be 'Sometimes they don't like to'

Anyway - If there is one scenario in my life where I would agree with deregulation and competition - its the banking industry, a bit of competition might make them a little more effective in delivering a banking service. Count yourselves lucky Australians, banks at home are silver service butlers compared to the sickly-pale screwed up sour-faced whining morons that staff the desks and phones in the UK service industry.

So to anyone coming to the UK - avoid Lloyds like the plague, may all their branches burn to the ground.